July 27, Gallery Nights Twice the Lucky, Twice the Pozzo

This post began Friday night, I am stubbornly adding it to the site unedited, disregarding the fact that Rex already explained the setting.

That's right, TWO Luckys and TWO Pozzos hit the Third Ward to wrest dollars from the hands of the bourgeoisie, one cavort at time. Here is a brief list of the Ian/Tim team’s decency defying stunts:

1: Strip

2: Stop stripping

3: Salsa dance (The woman who requested this was too shy to partner up with poor Lucky so Ian filled in and tried his best to follow Lucky’s lead.)

4: Obligatory headstands, net dances, a few Irish jigs (w/ impressive hell clicks)

5: Divide *insert big number* by *another number* in your head. (The numbers were written on paper and torn in two with Lucky’s teeth, then stuffed into his mouth, read: head)

6: Take off all your clothes. (So, I did. Pozzo held the suitcase open in a strategic fashion and the drawers did drop. However, the rather rude woman who’d requested the show voiced her dissatisfaction with Lucky’s still wearing his tie and the boxers being only down to the calves. She harangued poor Pozzo the entire time that Lucky spent redressing. Lucky thanked her for contributing to the arts and told her to take her disappointment as a life lesson. Bitch.)

7: The building is on fire, and there’s a kitten on the top floor. What do you do? (Well, Lucky tries the door first. Finding it locked he desperately cries out the plight of the kitten, but to no avail. Spotting a drain pipe on the side of the building, he bolts for it and uses it to climb about 10 feet up to a ledge and then reach out towards the fire escape ladder. The concerned onlookers decided that the kitten had made a jump for it and now required CPR . . . on the ground where it’s safe. Their concern was touching and the kitten was found on a girl’s foot where it was, presumably, resuscitated by our hero. Kudos for creativity!)

8: Swallow a dime. (Done. Well, the dime stuck in Lucky’s throat but fortunately came back out later and without the public noticing.)

9: Recite something. (This Lucky is a big fan of poetry and, to his great pleasure, so was this audience. Several poems were recited and hearty rounds of applause were received with humble bows. One woman was moved to give a tip out of sheer appreciation. Turn-about is fair play and Lucky bestowed a bonus morsel of Lewis Carroll while holding her hand, ending with a gentle kiss.

10: Find a 50yr old date for my friend. (Spotting a man standing alone, disregarding the age limit and the dollar Lynda paid for Lucky to not find her a date, Lucky introduced Doug to Lynda. He likes to think that they are now happily married.

11: Massage my friends’ heads. (Check)

12: Escape! Be free! (And so he ran, fast and far.)

13: Disco dance & do some hip hop. (The disco was genuine and well received. The hip hop was a bunny rabbit impression.)

Best evening of Lucky & Pozzo ever!

From the Desk of Pozzo! - Jonathan West

Take a letter, Lucky. Type, HOG!!


Dear Sweaty Man,


I am Pozzo! I beleive you promised me a ten pound chicken. My companion and I waited for this chicken until we ran out of carrots and had to eat turnips. Then we ran out of turnips.
You owe me a chicken, schmartzy!


Sincerely,
Pozzo!


Secretary General to the Army of the

July 27th- Gallery Night

Posted by R. Winsome


Two pairs of Lucky's and Pozzo's hit Gallery Night with ROARING success.


The Pozzos: Rex and Ian
The Luckys: Tim and Kate.


highlights:


- large donation for "one legged bolero concerning the sugar cane industry in deference to plate tectonics"
- sexually harrass my wife and her friends
- grovel
- hump that pole
- tongue your master for 30 full seconds
- give your master a lap dance
- the wierdest thing you've got
- explain why you are so creepy
- a one minute monologue about how brilliant Susan Marie Bischoff is
-slam your head into the sidewalk really hard repeatedly
- a levitating card trick (because the requester was unimpressed, took the card and put it in his breast pocket, where Kate took hold of it, and his nipple and they struggled to the ground over this card)
- running into Jonathan West, who attempted to procure a chicken as payment
- the inordinately large number of people who got the reference (makes me want to memorize Lucky's think monologue, cuz there's gonna be alot more of that at fringe fest)
- telling off the fucking hipsters at Made in Milwaukee: "hmmm lucky, it appears these people think they are better than us. they are obviously too cool, and we are repulsive, we are not particulalry human, perhaps... no matter"
- when matt richardson thought it was a good idea to add half a cinder block to Lucky's load, which lasted about ten minutes, and then i took it out of the crate and threw it as far as I could, in the midst of regaling a group of strangers.
- vegetables, vaporizors, and other prep work we did this week

From the Desk of Pozzo! -Faith Levine

If we're going to send hate mail to the art museum when they kick us out, we must treat Art v Craft in the same manner. I regret that this had to happen.

Take dictation, PIG!

Dear Ms. Levine,

I am Pozzo! I would like to post a complaint. My associate and I were ejected from your "hip alternative art and craft fair" last Saturday morning without grounds, and I demand recompense in the form of the termination of the employment of the offending employee (or employees) from your organization.

It is my understanding that you consider this event a "showcase for emerging... artists working in many traditional and non-traditional mediums" and yet your people are unwilling to tolerate the appearanceof a master, I say, a veritable MASTER of the Performing Arts and his humble associate, that is, myself. Perhaps humble is not the right word. Are you listening to me, pig? Type!

Your excuse for this ejection was weak. If this is "a counter economy, a way to avoid mass-produced goods and large corporations" then protecting your vendors' right to sell their goods on the basis of a rental of the space, the property, is hypocritical. The choice to remove us from the premises enforces the bourgeois institution of private property ownership, which we as "DIY artists" must struggle with daily. I understand it is sometimes necessary to play into the prevailing capitalist system (renting a booth, or renting the hall) to achieve something. It is not necessary to impose and enforce these rules on other artists!

My associate is, as I said, a Master of the Performing arts, but surely considering the ineffable nature of the product, the experience, that we sell and considering that we do not have the same space requirements as the vendor booths we cannot be expected to pay a rental fee and still maintain any profitability. Allowing your patrons the opportunity to pay, of their own volition a mere dollar for a bit of local color, for a performance by a Master of the Performing Arts within an event that masquerades as a venue for alternative art, presents little competition and does no significant damage to any ofthe rented vendors. I guarantee that, had we been allowed to perform, the customer's experience at your event would be improved by Lucky'spresence. There are a number of establishments in this city that recognize the value of what we do and who have welcomed Lucky with open arms and with dollar bills. The Pink Banana Theatre company, Darling Hall, the Performing Arts Showcase, a number of cafes and bars, even the police officers at the fireworks and outside Summerfest grounds were all far more accommodating than your staff when we presented ourselves in the same manner. That is, without prior notice or permission.

I thank you in advance for your hasty action in dealing with this complaint and request some validation that the offending woman has been removed from your employ in much the same manner that my associate and I were removed from your premises Saturday morning, that is: escorted to the curb outside. A photograph will do.

Yours,

Pozzo

July 7- Theatre v Art v Craft

Posted by R. Winsome.

Faith Levine, the queen of DIY art kicked us out of Art v Craft within 10 feet of the door. She will be getting a nasty letter from Pozzo. They wouldn't even let us work on the sidewalk outside the building. We bitched enough for the security guard to go and give us our money back, and one of the guys at the door came to see Made in the Mouth that night, so at least SOME people were cool.

We scurried off to the east side for our old reliable Brady Street and then hit up north ave. Ian was Pozzo and I (that is, Rex) was Lucky. Matt Richardson was the Third. Ian's first shot at Pozzo and he did a good job, worked more Pozzo lines into the bit than i usually do, and also had a better response to "why is he tied up?" questions. I typically say, "Lucky is an artist, he's dangerous, he must be restrained." Ian said "he does it of his free will" and then went into a bit of the "he wants to mollify me so i give up the idea of parting with him" bit.

Highlights of Lucky's performances:

I'm a little teapot on the crate on a manhole in the middle of brady street.
do 10 jumping jacks and 10 pushups on the manhole in the middle of brady street (in the middle of a sunny afternoon manhole covers get very very hot, so I started doing those clapping pushups, which impressed the guy even more)
a breakdancing harmonica
a dinosaur stepping on a landmine
hang yourself

July 3rd - Lucky & Pozzo Retrospective

Timmy-two-hats here with a glance and a grimmace back on the first round of Lucky & Pozzo on Brady St. pre-fireworks.

By the end of the night when a soggy group composed of Rex, Kate, Ian and myself trudged into Rex's place, things had been fairly lucrative. It was a slow start, though not without highlights.

Even as Lucky, my aura of good-natured nice-guyness shines through. Thus, not only do I get to snuggle babies and kiss dogs, but I also get paid just to smile and look happy. Not once, but twice! Later my ass was bitten, but before that it was hung in the Roman Coin to the dubious enjoyment of some prick at the bar. Let us not judge the prick harshly though, he paid $5 to watch me flop on the floor with my nethers dangling in the air. Joke's on you smart-ass.

Backflips are such a popular request that Rex and I may learn how to do real ones. Perhaps the duo will perform at a local fitness center. Aside from that, Lucky me got to sing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (not by request, just as a nod to Ms. Lauper), speak a smattering of poor French and a bit of excellent German a la Sprockets. A couple people even donated their dollars with nary a request. I suppose that's all well and good but a master of the performing arts doesn't really want to be paid just for standing there brain dead.

Well, maybe he does.

He also is OK with being paid to masturbate on a crate in front of Rochambo. Best dollar earned ever!
Finally, Rex can summon the most brilliant lightning & thunder you bitches have ever seen! That's all for now.

July 5th- bayview, summerfest, jazz in the park.

Posted by R. Winsome.

Lucky and Pozzo went out again on thursday.

This time Rex Winsome played Pozzo (there's no way i was going to try and do lucky with my various forth of july induced injuries) and Kate Pleuss played Lucky. Our first female lucky. She played him as a man (so the shtick was still "this is lucky, HE'S a master of the performing arts) and with the too-big suit on, and the hat and hair-in-the-face people were sometimes fooled, othertimes confused about Lucky's gender. Susan Bischoff was the third and she drove us down to bayview because we haven't done any promotion for the show down there.

Bayview was unexpectedly dissappointing. Traffic was really light and people were generally confused, slow to respond and put-off. Made me glad i didn't end up moving down there. Fun requests? not really, a couple weird coincidences, two requests for the Ghettysburg Address and two renditions of Amazing Grace (first one was off the top of Kate's head when asked for a song, the second was specifically asked for) Oh yeah, there was a request for Lucky to crawl on his hands and feet accross Kinnicinic ave. Pozzo stopped traffic to keep it safe. We ran into Mark Buchardt driector of the Boulevard Theatre. He didn't even listen to the speil, got the referance, (yes, i've taken a high school theatre history class) started talking over us and then sarcastically dismissed us (it's all wrapped up in 401k's, sorry). What a dick. There were also these super lame gamer dorks who treated us like WE were geeks because we inturupted their D+D game to do street theatre. being looked down on by gamers was a low point in susan's life. Ran into two of Rex's high school teachers at Cafe Lulu, they managed to give us a dollar before we were kicked out.

Next stop was the summerfest gate. We parked a few blocks away, made a few bucks while walking from people who weren't going to summerfest and then took up position on one of the medians of the crosswalk by the art museum. Hundreds of people walked past. Not a single dollar. After ten minutes of failed begging, Susan and Ian went back for the car, a cop came over and told us we could beg ("you'll do anything for a dollar? Really? isn't that kind of... risky?" "oh don't worry officer, we don't do anything obscene or illegal, we find our way out of those kinds of things") but we couldn't do it on the median. We moved to a grassy area, dropped character and talked about how discouraging this crowd was. How these people reminded us just how much the east side is still a sheltered bohemian enclave and we're surrounded by millions and millions of dull boorish shitheads who won't do anything but stare and maybe laugh at street theatre performers, and didn't geekrock and grunge explode the whole idea of conformity and "coolness" in the 90s? How did it get so thoroughly re-entrenched so quickly?

While we moped, Susan and Ian created a new action on their way to the car. They became desitute russian actors begging for money to appease their opressive communist producer. something along the lines of: "My director, Rex Winsome, says that if i do not bring 15 dollar back he will beat me and rape me and send me back to old country in burlap sack. Thank you! Thank you jesus will not sodomize your children." This made some money. Ian was shocked: "if you need money, you can just ASK for it and some people will give it to you!" Susan is going to develop it further, costumes and what not.

Then we rolled over to Cathedral Square park and caught people loitering after Jazz in the Park. This was by far the most successful and fun part of the evening. Performances included: Tell me if that's a dude or a chick, I of course stayed in character and said Lucky is a man, and they then wanted to have an inspection, but didn't offer up the money for it. There was a drunk-as-fuck man who shouted angrily at us as soon as he saw us, but his friends were into it, so we performed through his tirades and insults. A few requests for magic tricks. Kate has a tendancy to perform at a distance. When she's thinking fast she must look to the horizon, cuz her solutions to sticky situations generally invovled walking 20 feet away. Then, the highlight of the evening: "here's a dollar, now lick my friend's balls"

There's actually a little backstory to this one so i'll go into detail. We walk up to the youngest group of people there and as i start the speil i realize one of them has something hanging out of the fly of his pants. something flesh colored. I give a quick glance without stopping the speil and, yes the young man is displaying his genetalia, only the scrotum and testicles. Kate does not notice this, which is probably fortunate as it turns out. We do a song for his freinds, he puts his balls back in his pants and sits down. Someone realizes that Pozzo looks a lot like his old friend from back in burlington's big brother. Someone else realizes that Lucky is being played by a female actor. This second person produces a dollar and tells lucky to lick the previously displayed balls. Kate does something i don't think i'd be able to do in the circumstances, and totally bluffs the guy. She walked right up to him and made a "i'm ready when you are" face. My little sister's friend protests: "wait guys, she might HAVE to do it, it might be part of the part that she HAS to! Stop!" Then the boy who was only moments ago proudly displaying his balls got totally uncomfortable, sat down, wouldn't even look at Kate and damn near crossed his legs. The original requester settled for a cartwheel replacement and we moved on.

July 3rd- Brady street and fireworks

Posted by R. Winsome.

Lucky and Pozzo hit the streets to raise a little extra awareness of Made in the Mouth and some extra funds.

Started off on brady around 4 or 5, Tim was Lucky, Rex was Pozzo. Ian and Kate were the thirds. I can't remember any specifically humorous or special requests, it was a generally successful brady street run, the weather was less than perfect so traffic was a little lighter than usual. Then we had an hour-long Alamo Basement Play in a Day tech meeting with Matt Richardson and hit the streets again.

Rex and Tim stripped down and switched costumes on the street, which was a nice way to get a little extra attention. So, this was the first time Rex played Lucky and the first time anyone but Rex played Pozzo. We walked down brady and then to the fields of people waiting for fireworks.

Things Lucky had to do: bite Pozzo's ass, play frisbee, jump up and down a lot, roll down the hill, roll back up the hill, a backflip (hurt myself), display the contents of the breifcase to a young woman, who insisted on taking home a few sexy Peter J Woods nudes, deal with a kid who must have been clinically insane. He got very excited, followed us a bit and then very very upset, to the point of near-violence when Lucky sang a long sustained high pitched note.

Peter J Woods showed up after a while and since Timmy and I was already rolling well with Lucky and Pozzo, and since Kate had run out of handouts, they started doing a autograph thing, which worked something like this: Kate approaches a group, chooses one as says, "you lucky dog, you are the one, guess what you get? A genuine signed Peter J Woods headshot". She takes out an unsigned flyer on cardstock and calls peter over. He says: "another adoring fan?" signs the picture, says: "don't bother me with this shit anymore, okay?" and walks off. Then Kate collects email addresses.